Make Belive Realtionship or Wholehearted Relationship?


I am the vine; you are the branches
John 15:5

Your Relationship with God, by Gary Smalley (American family counselor, and author of books on family relationships from a Christian perspective) says in his book “Of all our relationships, God is the most important. Your relationship (or lack thereof) with God will influence all other relationships.”

Throughout the Scriptures, God is a loving God who is always with us and desires a closer personal and intimate relationship with you, That, I believe, is one of the first messages of the Bible, that in the Garden of Eden God created man and woman to be in relationship to Him. God desired that and so each day he would come down and walk in the garden in the cool afternoon breeze and just talk and be with Adam and Eve,

God wants more than anything to be in relationship with us.What might that relationship look like? In his book “I and Thou”, Martin Buber poses that all of us relate to everything in this world in one of two ways.

First is the I-It relationship. Most of the time we relate on the I-It level which means to see someone else as an object, not consciously but more often subconsciously. We look at others as what they will do for us and how they will impact our life. Will you hurt me or help me? We also do that in our relationship with God. So we pray, “God help me!” What will God give me? In the I-It relationship we are the centre of our lives. In the I-It relationship, we look or evaluate people in your life through a cost/benefit analysis. It is very transactional in nature. Is this person worth the time and energy and sometimes trouble? Do I get more than I give? We become the centre of our universe and everything we do is for me.

The second way we can relate to others is through the I-Thou relationship which Buber says is the ideal type of relationship though we may never attain it. In this type of relationship, we have sacred value and worth. We don’t exist to be served but to serve others. The other people in our life are people we are meant to care for and serve. No longer do we look at them for what you will get from them but rather we begin to see how we can serve them, how we can meet their needs and what we might accomplish together.

The same is true in our relationship with God. No longer do we worship God because of what he promises or what he will do or what he will give to us, but rather we seek to know God as God and to do His will and seek His purpose in this world and for our lives. Buber says, when we have the I-Thou relationship with God in place, it affects all others. No longer do you see others as objects.

If we are honest, if I am honest, we spend most of our lives in relationships in the I-It realm, in superficial and even though I would not say it, a what’s in it for me perspective? I even apply that to my relationship with God. And yet that’s not what God has in mind for any of us.

All of us were designed to have a relationship with God and it is also important to realize that we have multiple relationships with God. If we read through the Bible we will see that God plays more than 200 different roles in our lives.

You can see this in your own relationships. For example, Saumya plays different roles in our life: she is my best friend, my wife, my helper, the mother of my children, my greatest source of feedback and constructive criticism. In each of these roles, we have different conversations and talk about different things ….This is the same with God.

If God is the creator, then who are we? The created. If God is the King, then what are we? The subject. If you are focusing as God as the creator, your prayers and expressions will be different than if you are focusing on him as king. If God is the Lover, then who are we? The Beloved. If God is the Parent, then who are we? The child. You will look at God very differently when you’re looking at God as the lover than when you are looking to Him as parent. If God is the potter, then you are the clay. If God is the Lord, then what are you? The Servant. So how we look at God not only impacts what we think about God but how we interact with God as well.

Most of us tend to focus on God in one or two of these roles. We always talk to God in the same way, look at God the same and understand God from the same perspective. Martin Buber in his book writes, "If you only focus on one one or two dimensions of God, then your God is too small. You need all of the dimensions to experience the fullness of God and all of God in your relationship to Him." We need God to be in all His roles for us. If we focus on God as Divine, Lord, King and Master, then we also need to experience Him as friend and lover. Which role do you focus on when you think of God? What role(s) do you need to focus on?

Dear Friends, We were meant for relationship and we won’t find true rest and peace in our lives until we get that relationship right in our lives.

This Lenten Season let us resolve that not a single moment of our life will be spent outside the light, love and joy of God’s presence and not a moment without the entire surrender of ourselves as a vessel for Him to fill full of His Spirit and His love.

God Bless You


Location: Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, India

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